Natalie Portman seeks venture capital to build soul-devouring website.

In a diabolical move to once and for all consume the life force of the entire male population of Earth, Natalie Portman is looking for funding to launch a "lifecast" site which features "a continuous video feed of her work and personal life."

In completely un-related news, I'm looking for funding to build a basement bunker with a computer, high speed internet connection, microwave, a lifetime supply of mac & cheese, and 50 cases of hand lotion.

I have dry skin.


http://valleywag.com/tech/exclusive/natalie-portmans-lifecast-258610.php

Want to go green, but can't give up your 6-liter V8?

If you need a vehicle that can carry seven of you closest bros and tow a trailer filled with 4000 lbs. of Bud Light and beef jerky over the Cajon Pass at 80mph while maintaining as small a carbon footprint as possible, GM has answered your prayers with a resounding, BOOYAH!

Late last week, GM unveiled prototypes of the Chevy Tahoe and GMC Yukon that utilize hybrid gas-electric technology to achieve an eye-popping 22.5 mpg (downhill with a strong tail wind). The 25% improvement in fuel efficiency over the non-hybrid Tahoe and Yukon models will certainly score you green points with 60 mpg. Prius owners as you smash them over the center divider and assume your rightful spot in the carpool lane for your solo commute.


http://online.wsj.com/article/SB117830787122792563.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

Interpol Gives You The Heinrich Maneuver

Nattily attired band Interpol is back with, well, pretty much more of the same. If you liked "Slow Hands" you'll probably dig this, from their new album "Our Love To Admire" due out July 10th.

The Heinrich Maneuver - radio rip

INTERPOL- Official Website
Myspace

New Justice Video

JUSTICE - D.A.N.C.E.
Every tee shirt should be able to do this...

Check Yo Lip Gloss

Barely 17, rapper Lil Mama has already been at her game for five years, signing to Jive Records this year and releasing the hit single "Lip Gloss." That means that at the age of 12 she was already cooler than you. Kind of seems like that rap that you had about GI Joes wasn't such a bad idea, huh?

Lil Mama raps with the attitude that you would expect from someone that would've grown up listening to more LL Cool J than 50 Cent, sassy but playful. She's basically that really awesome girl that makes you think that you wasted your teenage years. Get ready to pop open the lip gloss later this year when her full length The Voice Of The Young People releases via Jive Records.

Lip Gloss
No Music


Lil Mama Myspace
Official Website

God Hates Indie Kids.

And here's the proof, my friends: Behold the 10-day forecast for the Coachella area. Good weekend to be a Grizzly Bear.. not such a good weekend to be a Teddybear. Even worse weekend to be a Stephen Colbert.

"Secret" Shows Surrounding Coachella

Missed your chance to see this years nostalgic for the 90's lineup? Skip the filler and check out the following bands:

Arctic Monkeys at the Troubadour Sunday, 4/29
Tickets: $25 through fax only
Doors @ 10pm, onstage @ 11pm
Fax form: Troubadour Fax Form
Fax # (310) 247-4896

The Cribs at Dimples, Burbank Wednesday, 4/25
FREE - band on at 7:30 pm

Tapes N Tapes at Spaceland Thursday, 4/26
Tickets: $12

Crowded House at Glass House Friday, 4/27 -not secret, but still amazing
Tickets: $25

Ed Banger Records Showcase feat. Justice at Ex-Plex Monday, 4/30
Tickets $10

Spankrock and Flosstradamus at Check Yo Ponytail Tuesday, 5/1
FREE!!
RSVP: rsvp@iheartcomix.com

See ya at Spaceland this Thursday...

Fantastic Looking Men In Tights Set To Lure 18-34 Male Demographic To Musical Theater

Marvel announced that Spider Man will jump from the big screen to the theater, apparently having not made enough money through films. Helming this task will be the easy-to-work-with director Julie Taymor, fresh from making songs from the White Album even more unbearable.

This news bears good news for other superhero projects set to hit multiplexes soon, as Jake Gyllenhaal can easily make the transistion from yelling "Shazam!" to crooning it sweetly towards his adoring fans so many times before.

Julie Taymor to direct Spider-Man Musical | /Film

Will Farrell Manages To Be Funny Without Running From Imaginary Flames, Not Without Enabling 2-Year Old

In this brave new world where 8 million digital monkeys on typewriters crank out his new plots, Will Farrell managed to remind us how funny it can be when he breaks out of his usual stereotype and argues with drunken children. Expect the sequel to be greenlit soon, before his young co-star undergoes a meltdown of Osment-like proportions.

Funny Or Die

New Feist Video for "1234"

Most of us watch Michel Gondry videos and think "Damn son! THAT looks amazing!" Feist watched them and said "Choreography? Bright outfits? Fuck it. I got this."



Reminder is out April 24th.