RAZR 2 Will It Suck As Much As RAZR 1?

Funny, Motorola's RAZR 2 Comes With A Multiracial Party That Includes No Asians Whatsoever

Being a new media geek, I've always been progressive in my love of gadgets. When camera phones burst on the scene I was there. When Friendster became lame, I already had 500 friends on MySpace and a low user I.D. number. When I was told that my phone was simply too fat, I sucked it up and bought a RAZR thinking that now I was officially cool...but you know what.

IT SUCKED.

The single biggest regret of my life is buying a RAZR. I know, it's not even that guy I took to winter formal whose nose bled on my dress. No, YOU RAZR. You slow ass phone. Have you ever tried to text message someone in a timely manner on a RAZR? It's impossible. Even with T9. How about the annoying feature of automatically receiving new text messages when you're mid typing your response to someone - that sucks! Where's the flash on my phone camera? Oh that's right, it doesn't have any. My crappy brick did but not this super sleek hunk o' junk. Typing numbers is frustrating. You have to press "Ok" like three times for any command and all of my pictures look like I'm hunting down Big Foot, Lochness and Unicorns.

So, now RAZR 2 is out and to YOU Motorola I say, WHO F*cking CARES!

Or b.) send me a free one

If there's anyone that can help me efficiently get rid of mine for cheap I'll send you all the bikini pictures of my friends and I stored in its useless memory. Oh, by the way, they're fuzzy and completely impossible to view.

Now That He's Gone, Where's He Going?

Let's vote for hell.


SodaHead Opinion Poll: Will Jerry Falwell go to heaven? In memory, Adam

Bad food, bad teeth, wooden cell phones, and Tatiana still wants to move there.

Pay as you go, but roaming charges apply outside of the Shire.


http://www.idl.dundee.ac.uk/phonenotphone/products.php

Can you smell what Alberto is cooking?

"I think I may be aware of that."













Mix one cup of RIAA, 2 tbsp. of MPAA, a dollop of Homeland Security, a sprinkle of Orwell, and a big ass barrel of crazy and you get... The Intellectual Property Protection Act of 2007.


If the bill were to pass through Congress as is, it would:

* Criminalize "attempting" to infringe copyright
* Create a new crime of life imprisonment for using pirated software
* Permit more wiretaps for piracy investigations
* Allow computers to be seized more readily
* Increase penalties for violating the Digital Millennium Copyright Act's anti-circumvention regulations
* Add penalties for "intended" copyright crimes
* Require Homeland Security to alert the Recording Industry Association of America


Yowza.


http://news.com.com/8301-10784_3-9719339-7.html

2.0 Legit To Quit

My, my, my, my man boobs hit me so hard...










Motherfucker. Hammer's got a blog!

http://mchammer.blogspot.com/


Henceforth, in homage to he who's "got a sand crab in his knickers," I'm going to sign all of my posts...

--Hammertime

Lily spills her guts about wanting to spill her guts.

The wounded blog-cry for validation from thousands of rabidly attentive fans that "lovingly don't get you" aka Celebrity 2.0 is so last year. Somebody please update the fucking Wiki.

And where is the dignity anymore?

What happened to the good old days where famosos could binge out on coke, booze, groupies, and pizza then call their manager or their mom semi-counsious, sobbing naked in the shower, from the anonymous squalor of their trashed hotel room?

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=36707169&blogID=264065410

P.S. Somebody update the "Every Girl Thinks She's Fat" Wiki, too.

Someone at The AP Loves George Lucas

This story has nothing to do with Star Wars. Really. Wow. Awesome.

I want to get hired by the AP so I can start sneaking in covert references to Swervedriver in D.U.I. stories.

One way shit ticket to hell.

According to an announcement today, ticket holders for this year's Glastonbury festival will receive free rolls (yes, plural) of toilet paper.

When pressed on the issue of whether arming a few hundred thousand festival goers with multiple rolls of toilet paper was really a good idea, festival Co-Organizer, Michael Eavis, responded, "Initially, we wanted to hand out paper waste disposal bags and lighter fluid to everyone in attendance, but that was quickly vetoed by the headlining acts."

Artists confirmed to play include The Who, Bjork, Arctic Monkeys, Arcade Fire, The Killers, and Lily Allen. Sheryl Crow has mysteriously dropped off the bill and could not be reached for comment.

http://www.nme.com/news/glastonbury/28204

Natalie Portman seeks venture capital to build soul-devouring website.

In a diabolical move to once and for all consume the life force of the entire male population of Earth, Natalie Portman is looking for funding to launch a "lifecast" site which features "a continuous video feed of her work and personal life."

In completely un-related news, I'm looking for funding to build a basement bunker with a computer, high speed internet connection, microwave, a lifetime supply of mac & cheese, and 50 cases of hand lotion.

I have dry skin.


http://valleywag.com/tech/exclusive/natalie-portmans-lifecast-258610.php

Want to go green, but can't give up your 6-liter V8?

If you need a vehicle that can carry seven of you closest bros and tow a trailer filled with 4000 lbs. of Bud Light and beef jerky over the Cajon Pass at 80mph while maintaining as small a carbon footprint as possible, GM has answered your prayers with a resounding, BOOYAH!

Late last week, GM unveiled prototypes of the Chevy Tahoe and GMC Yukon that utilize hybrid gas-electric technology to achieve an eye-popping 22.5 mpg (downhill with a strong tail wind). The 25% improvement in fuel efficiency over the non-hybrid Tahoe and Yukon models will certainly score you green points with 60 mpg. Prius owners as you smash them over the center divider and assume your rightful spot in the carpool lane for your solo commute.


http://online.wsj.com/article/SB117830787122792563.html?mod=googlenews_wsj