Indie Enthusiast Cops To Non Ironic Cher Addiction

Today, I finally made known a dark secret to a friend who is a top entertainment industry professional. That secret is that I love Cher and I'm not being ironic either. I love her. Not just because she's also half-Armenian and understands the plight of half breeds, but because she's acheived everything I hope to in life: massive wealth, a body that won't quit, the finesse to pull off fishnet leotards and a large gay following. Oh Cher, teach me your ways. I heart you.

To my fellow Stereofork editors, I implore you to come out of your non ironic closets and tell us who you love...and also, does anyone have the Believe tour DVD? I totally want it.

It Ain't Easy Being Day-Glo

Unless you're lucky enough to have been living in Amish country (not the rough part) for the past few months you've heard about the Nu-Rave movement sweeping the coasts. For some reason, the boys wearing day-glo tights look hasn't really caught on in the Midwest. The leaders of this new movement, space-rockers The Klaxons, just dropped their first full length this week.

The album mixes the indie-rock and dance aesthetic that have had their shows packed with both neon outfits and skinny-pant clad hipster kids. NME has done everything but propose to them, but even without the hype they still put out a decent, listenable record.

They just announced a US tour, so be sure to break out the glow sticks (does this mean that the 90's are the new 80's?) and hit the dance floor. Keep away from anyone offering back rubs.

April 8 – Toronto, ONT @ Lee’s Palace
April 10 – New York, NY @ Bowery Ballroom
April 11- Boston, MA @ Great Scott
April 13 – Brooklyn, NY @ Studio B
April 14 – Philadelphia, PA @ Transit
April 16 – Chicago, IL @ Schubas Tavern
April 17 – Minneapolis, MN @ 7th Street Entry
April 19 – Denver, CO @ Larimer Lounge
April 21 – Los Angeles, CA @ Ex Plex below the Echo
April 22 – Vancouver, BC @ Richard’s On Richards Cabaret
April 23 – Seattle, WA @ Crocodile Café
April 24 – Portland, OR @ Dante’s
April 26 – San Francisco, CA @ Popscene @ 330 Ritch
April 29 – Indio, CA @ Coachella

Golden Skans
Atlantis To Interzone

Klaxons on Myspace

The future of CD bonus material is now.

Hey, Music Industry...

Who gives a fuck about enhanced CDs and bonus DVDs? Give me a bagel sandwich any day.

This Week In Useless Degrees

Do you love our country, happen to be Republican but are too scared shitless to go join the military? Then check out these sweet degrees in Homeland Security from some online university no one's ever heard of! You'll wow your friends with your knowledge of how to effectively quarantine strangers, differentiate a code yellow from a code orange and spot Muslims anywhere at anytime. You'll also get an extra dollar an hour when you land your bitchin' cargo job at JetBlue. Sweet! Check out your classes! Do I smell some fun frat parties or what?!

Core Courses (27 semester hours)
CJ395 - EDM 220 - Emergency Planning
GM160 - HLS 211 - Emergency Response to Terrorism
GM260 - HLS 212 - Chemical, Biological, and Radiological Hazard
GM261 - HLS 213 - Weapons of Mass Destruction Incident Command
IR310 - HLS 101 - Homeland Defense
MM325 - EDM 340 - Consequence Management
SS460 - POL 410 – Public Policy
SS489 - HLS 301 – Homeland Security Organization
RQ300 - COL 300 - Research, Analysis, and Writing

Major Courses (12 semester hours)
Take four (4) of the following courses:
CJ370 - SCM 370 – Principles and Theory of Security Issues
CJ373 - SCM373 – Risk Analysis and Loss Prevention
CJ410 - HLS311 – Border and Coastal Security
CS305 - ISS 362 – IT Security: Attack and Defense
GM263 - HLS 215 – Regulatory Issues in Weapons of Mass Destruction
GM316 - ISS 381 – Cyber Law and Privacy in the Digital Age
IR311 - HLS104 – Chemical and Biological Defense
IS102 - HLS 153 – The International Terrorist
IS201 - HLS 225 – Intermediate Terrorism
IS310 - INT 433 - Threat Analysis
IS349 - HLS 320 – Intelligence and Homeland Security
IS386 - INT 423 – Cyber Warfare
MC406 - TLM 381 – Hazardous Materials Management
MC444 - EDM 420 – Risk Communications
MC445 - HLS 312 – Port Security
MC491- FSC 321 - Community Fire Mitigation and Protection
MC495 - FSC 405 - Fire Safety and Risk Reduction
PY431 - PSY 431 - Psychology of Disaster
RQ313 - INT 315 - Foreign Intelligence Organizations
SC403 - EDM 240 - Chemistry of Hazardous Materials
SS440 - HCM 426 - Quarantine

Even Kermit Hurts

Bryan pointed out this amazing clip...it makes me want to shed green tears.

Halle Berry Celebrates Star On Walk Of Fame By Inviting Mass Orgy

Oscar winner, part-time Michelle Pfeiffer stand-in, all of these words have been used to describe Halle Berry, and now she can join the hard-working ranks of other stars on the famous stretch of VD-infested sidewalk that can be described as Stars On The Walk Of Fame.

Obviously overcome by the moment, Berry invited her fans in even closer to experience not only the moment, but herself with the comment, "I cannot tell you how good it feels inside me right now. I wish you all could be inside me right now to know how it feels." Thankfully security was on hand to keep overly-excited superheroes wanting to take up the X-Men member on the offer away from the actress.

Inside Halle Berry - WOW Report

Whip It Good

The latest band sure to demand NME's undying love is Manchester band The Whip. Forming from the remains of the band Nylon Pylon, The Whip came onto the scene in 2006. The band quickly made a name for itself with the single "Frustration" and followed up on that success with "Trash".

The band recorded their first effort in a pub cellar, and are currently working on a full length release for later this year. All you lucky metric-system-loving Brits can catch them at gigs all summer long.
4-19 Camden Crawl, London

4-20 Camden Crawl, London

4-21 Chalk @ The Scala, London

4-26 Waterfront, Norwich

4-27 Concorde, Brighton

4-28 Roadmender, Northhampton

5-3 QMU, Glasgow

5-4 Trent Uni, Nottingham

Frustration
Trash

The Whip On Myspace

Danzig XVII: The Lost Tracks

I don't care if he got knocked out. I don't care if he's on 'roids or got hair plugs. I don't care if his comic books or newer albums are shit. I don't care that he's now vocally closer to Barney from the Simpsons than Elvis or Jim Morrison.

Danzig is the fucking man, and don't you ever forget it. I'm so much more stoked about the Lost Tracks of Danzig album than I'll ever be about some hyped up fagster Modest Shins or Arcade Party release.

May 29th. Mark it down. On your forehead. In the blood of a virgin, or a first born goat or something. Figure it out.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070404/music_nm/danzig_dc

Justice Makes Pretty Music For Pretty People

Keeping with Stereofork's love for all things from Ed Banger Records, the new Justice track from their forthcoming EP D.A.N.C.E. is our new soon-to-be-burnt-out-on song for the summer. It's an extended version of uber-upbeat track D.A.N.C.E., with the cheeriness turned up to eleven.

They are also working on a new full length due out in June, still without a title. The EP is due from Ed Banger Records on April 16th.


B.E.A.T. extended version
We Are Your Friends From 2003 Release

Justice on Myspace

Nice shoes.. wanna mope?

The joy revision continues. New Balance has announced it will be producing a limited edition 'Joy Division' trainer to commemorate the 30th anniversary of the band's inception. Details such as the iconic album artwork of their post-punk classic "Unknown Pleasures," the lyrics "Step Inside" from "Atrocity Exhibition" and a nod to Factory Records' comprehensive numbering system ("Fact 10") grace the austere white sneakers. No word yet on price or if Ian Curtis has rolled over in his grave, risen from the dead and entered himself into a 2K Walk-And-Run. But hey, miserablists care about physical fitness too. Ready, set.. goth!

Hypebeast