Nobody Fucks With The Jesus

Let me tell you something, pendejo:

Thus far it seems that every lazy hipster is quick to compare The Big Pink to The Jesus and Mary Chain. It is my opinion that the equation is not complete without throwing The Jesus Lizard and Jesus Jones into the mix.

You heard it right here, right now, first.

Lily Allen: More Winehouse than Winehouse.

Think White Zombie with that headline. Um, anyway...









































Lily,

Gratuitous, ham-fisted self-deprecation and aneurysm inducing music aside, maybe you're not that bad after all.

I'm starting to think that you may be that obtrusively annoying theatre geek in high school that I secretly wished would talk to me. Your loss, obviously.


http://idolator.com/tunes/you-might-laugh%2C-you-might-frown/lily-allen-is-feeling-the-weight-of-the-world-on-the-top-of-her-head-273555.php

Hey, Idolator: Speaking of obtrusively annoying... Maybe you should make your URLs a little longer. Fuck's sake.

Apple iPhone now available online!

Click here for details.

Now THIS Is A Reunion

a.) No one is super old
b.) People still care
c.) All the members are back in the band

Fuck yeah.
In a year full of reunions,
the Verve have just nabbed my vote for Best Reunion of the Year.

Sex Toys...Now With Mold!

We're sure the editors at MSNBC weren't thinking about how this story on sex toys going green sounds vaguely mold friendly and icky.

Not to mention the mere existence of a Sexual Health section on MSNBC leads us humble readers to think their Secret Santa parties could be far more kinky than we would have liked to imagine! In fact, we previously assumed that MSNBC writers had the same reproductive characteristics as encephalopods, but still...yeah...

I don't want my sex toys going green on me. Ew.
Then again, I don' t have any.
I'm waiting 'til marriage and don't you tell my mama no different!

WWJD POR VIDA!

She Builds Quick Machines, Velvet Revolver make shitty music.

Are you guys serious? Really? God, the fucking Donnas rock harder than you. Think about that in the grand scheme of the universe for a second.

We're sorry that making records and videos gets in the way of picking out scarves and douchebag leather accessories sometimes, but fuck... Really?

We demand the immediate, unconditional surrender of your GNR credentials.

Zune claims 11% market share. How many did this guy buy?

http://www.electronista.com/articles/07/06/21/zune.11.percent.in.may/


Not a terrible start, but there's still a long way to go for the Microsoft's timely answer to the iPod.

Speaking of which, we're all really looking forward to the Zune phone two or three years from now, Microsoft. No time like the future. Hey, at least we know someone ^^^ who will buy one.

Rolling Stone: The Record Industry's Decline. Somehow they forgot to mention Rolling Stone's decline.

Motherfucking DUH. Are you guys are just figuring this shit out? Or is this story finally pseudo-cutting edge enough for your lowest common denominator readership?

http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/15137581/the_record_industrys_decline/1


Hey, did you hear that the Titanic sank? How about an article on that? Good thing Amy Winehouse wasn't on it or you guys would really have nothing to write about.

Lil' Mama is here to save the day.

Stereofork's favorite underage b-girl has managed to somehow salvage the hitherto unmitigated debacle that is Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend.

Not even the involvement of MTV News could totally fuck this up. In fact, the only thing that could possibly make this better is if they made out, then Mama bitch slapped Avril and dumped her ass out of the car. Keep that in mind for next time, girls. Just sayin'.

P.S. Lil' Mama, please invite Ryan to your 18th birthday party so I can stop taunting him mercilessly.