US Government Condemns Real Country's Former Actions Against Fake Person From Different Country

In what's sure to come out as a preparatory move for the planned sequel the State Department has issued their annual human rights abuses report, and have taken the bold steps to condemn the actions of the Kazakhstani government against their most famous "citizen", Borat. The report states that the government has become increasingly restrictive on free speech, and uses the loss of http://www.borat.kz/ in 2005 as one of its prime examples.

The long standing oppression of Borat by the Kazakh government will not be unavenged by the US, who have vowed that they will not stop until every single Kazakhstani man, woman, and child has heard "Very nice!" screamed by a drunken frat boy at least 200 times, bringing them up to the level of first-world Borat over saturation.

Borat seen as human rights victim by U.S. government

It's Just A Flesh Wound

In an attempt to become the 'Black Knight' of the underground hip-hop game, Definitive Jux rhyme-smith Aesop Rock has released the title track from his forthcoming release "None Shall Pass" (due out "early 2007"). The track shows up on the new Def Jux compilation "Definitive Swim" (a collaboration between Definitive Jux and Adult Swim). We're not sure if brother Aesop has been turning to the classic 1975 comedy "Monty Python And The Holy Grail" for lyrical inspiration, but we do know that the new album features John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats -- and that movie had at least, like, one or two goats in it (not to mention a killer rabbit and invisible horses), so they're totally related.

Listen: Aesop Rock - "None Shall Pass"


Aesop Rock (Definitive Jux)

http://www.myspace.com/aesoprockwins (Myspace)

Guess You're Stuck With Hearing Common People On Your iPod

Here's your dreams for a Pulp reunion. Here's Jarvis Cocker smashing those dreams into a million pieces or...making a catchy statement for rhetorical effect just so NME will cover it. Here's me having his babies anyway. Don't hate.

Cold Case Files: The Big Bopper

The remains of the Big Bopper were recently exhumed and an autposy performed to dispel the rumor that he had actually survived the plane crash and died looking for help.

Jay Richardson, aka Big Bopper Jr., was on-site and not only watched forensic anthropologist, Dr. Bill Bass, open the coffin, but subsequently observed his examination. "Dad still amazes me 48 years after his death, that he was in remarkable shape," Richardson said. Um... Creepy?

Said Bass, "There are fractures from head to toe. Massive fractures. (He) died immediately. He didn't crawl away. He didn't walk away from the plane."


Now, I'm no expert, but do you think anyone could have walked away from this?












http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070307/ap_en_mu/big_bopper_autopsy

Jarvis and Beth Ditto at the NME awards.

You know how when you have multiple groups of friends organized into neat, tidy categories, and then somehow people from the different groups start hanging out and things get weird...?

Cursive premieres "Big Bang" video.

Aging indie rockers are stoked. Oh, er... And I'm stoked too.

http://www.spinner.com/2007/03/06/video-premiere-cursive-big-bang/


Catch Cursive with Mastodon, Against Me!, and lots of goatees, facial piercings, and body odor in the perhaps the strangest tour of the spring:

May 1 - Los Angeles, CA @ Wiltern LG
May 2 - San Francisco, CA @ Warfield
May 4 - Portland, OR @ Roseland Ballroom
May 5 - Seattle, WA @ The Fenix
May 6 - Boise, ID @ Big Easy
May 8 - Denver, CO @ Fillmore Auditorium
May 11 - Minneapolis, MN @ The Myth
May 12 - Chicago, IL @ Riviera Theatre
May 13 - Detroit, MI @ State Theatre
May 14 - Cleveland, OH @ House of Blues
May 15 - Toronto, ON @ Kool Haus
May 17 - New York, NY @ Roseland Ballroom
May 18 - Philadelphia, PA @ Electric Factory
May 19 - Boston, MA @ Avalon
May 21 - Columbus, OH @ Lifestyles Pavilion
May 22 - Cincinnati, OH @ Bogart’s
May 23 - Baltimore, MD @ Sonar
May 25 - Orlando, FL @ House of Blues
May 26 - Atlanta, GA @ Tabernacle

Voxtrot To Release Full Length, Tour US

Austin natives Voxtrot are finally set to release a full length album through Playlouder/Beggars records on May 22nd, no longer teasing us with the greatness of their numerous EPs (3 EPs and 7 Seven Inches!). The prolific Moz lovers are then following up by kicking off their headlining tour of the US, which goes through June. Victor Van Vugt (who also produced Nick Cave and Depeche Mode) produced the album for the band, which frontman Ramesh Srivastava described as being "sonically a bit more adventurous" than the band's previous EPs. So modest.

Catch them if you can:
03/12 - Austin, TX - La Zona Rosa
03/14 - Austin, TX - SXSW (inside Emos)
03/15 - Austin, TX - SXSW (outside Emos)
03/22 - Mexico City - Pasaguero
05/25 - Austin, TX - Emos
05/27 - Phoenix, AZ - Anderson's Fifth Estate
05/29 - Los Angeles, CA - El Rey
05/30 - San Francisco, CA - Great American Music Hall
06/01 - Portland, OR - Doug Fir
06/02 - Seattle, WA - Crocodile
06/05 - Minneapolis, MN - Triple Rock
06/06 - Grand Rapids, MI - Intersection
06/07 - Detroit, MI - Magic Stick
06/08 - Toronto, ON - Sneaky Dees
06/09 - Montreal, QC - La Sala Rossa
06/10 - Buffalo, NY - Mohawk Place
06/11 - Cleveland, OH - Beachland Ballroom
06/12 - Baltimore, MD - Ottobar
06/13 - Washington, DC - Black Cat
06/14 - Boston, MA - Middle East
06/15 - New York, NY - Webster Hall
06/16 - Philadelphia, PA - Pure (Making Time)

Mothers, Sisters, Daughters & Wives

Massive Mothers (mashup) - mashup of above song with Teardrop, amazing!

Rise Up In The Dirt

www.voxtrot.net

www.myspace.com/voxtrot

Fountains of Wayne aren't ones to mess with semi-success.

Denise, Stacy's Mom, and now... Yolanda Hayes?


The unholy trinity of almost charming singles with women's names in the title is finally complete.

RIAA bitch slaps internet radio.

According to a recent decision by the US Copyright Royalty Board, webcast royalty rates will increase by 37.5% in 2007 and there will also be a $500 per station minimum fee.


So what does this mean?

Essentially, say goodbye to Pandora, Radio Paradise, Live 365, and pretty much any other internet radio station operating in the US.

But all is not lost. Last.fm is UK based, so they'll still be more than happy to host your shitty internet radio feed that nobody listens to. Cheerio.

http://www.kurthanson.com/archive/news/030207/index.shtml

Make My "Volta" A Venti, Please

Is she talking about a new album or the latest addition to the Starbucks menu? Bjork on her upcoming release "Volta" (due out May 7th):

"Because I'd done two or three projects in a row that were quite serious, maybe I just needed to get that out of my system or something. So all I wanted to do for this album was just to have fun and do something that was full-bodied and really up."

Maybe if we stop taking her seriously (as she is imploring us to do), it'll all make sense. Until then, one can only imagine that "Volta" will be the perfect morning compliment to a cruller and a copy of the New York Times.

Bjork