Peter O'Toole: Still Strangely Attractive

Before Jeremy Irons cornered the market on British actors both hot and creepy, there was Peter O'Toole. The original Shakespearean perv.

I was rooting for O'Toole to win the Oscar this past Sunday even though I just saw Venus today. Why? Because every other nominee has at least another 40 years in them (I'm pretty sure), his legacy of work is astounding and an honorary Oscar just isn't good enough. Having seen Venus now, I can safely say my intuition was on point by supporting him for the Oscar. And sadly, I don't know if he'll get another shot.

The movie was amazingly dynamic, hilarious and existentially thought provoking. Should I be disturbed that I was actually empathizing with the chemistry between him and his twenty-something co-star? I'm not sure. But I was finding myself strangely attracted to him and that blows all you fools on your "Helen Mirren is hot" bandwagon out of the water by at least three decades.

There's something about O'Toole that reminds me of old Hollywood and living in L.A., it's easy to yearn for those days. Oh well, at least I have the double features at the New Beverly to console myself with.

Go see Venus at the Laemmle on Sunset while you can.

Tibet House Benefit in NYC

Michael Stipe, Debbie Harry, Patti Smith, Lou Reed, and Ben Harper were among the star studded cast of performers who enraptured the crowd at the Tibet House benefit concert at Carnegie Hall.

The two-and-a-half hour celebration of Tibetan culture consisted of awe-inspiring, once in a lifetime musical performances, charming anecdotes, and no mention whatsoever of Tibetan culture.

Rolling Stone correspondents were there to provide congratulatory hand jobs to anyone within reach.

iamnottryingtobelieve.

www.ijustwanttohearthefuckingsongs.com


For more info on the NIN craze that's sweeping the nation, go here.
















Though certainly the front runners, NIN fans aren't the only ones with too much free time on their hands.

Somehow lost in the shuffle of cryptic internet marketing du jour, The Arcade Fire is also keeping fans and overeducated rock journalists up late at night doing tedious and ultimately pointless research with their site, www.neonbible.com.


As a result of the NIN and Arcade fire campaigns, unpaid interns with mad web skills everywhere are anxiously refreshing their inboxes.

27 Million Americans Held Captive By Possible Red-Neck, Definite Fifth Grader

26.6 million TV viewers last night proved that they were indeed dumber than a fifth grader by continuing to support Jeff Foxworthy's post-YMBARNI... career. This puts the show in place to follow the tradition of other top series premieres such as "The George Carlin Show", "Jesse", and "Inside Schwartz". If ratings fall next week Fox's marketing executives have promised to change the shows premise to have all contestants losing to the fifth graders immediately placed on the cast of Fox's new reality show "Are you faster than this hungry cheetah?"

You Had Me At Colon Movie

“Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters”
is the name of the film...

And they obviously consulted either Borat or my brother for title grammar.
(Those who know my brother are laughing pretty hard right now.
Those who don't, probably aren't.)

Here's the deets:

Movie Soundtrack Debuts April 10, 2007
Movie Opens Nationwide April 13, 2007

The soundtrack features: "new, original music from Mastodon, Killer Mike and Unearth. The score also includes recordings from old school rap legend Schooly D, who contributed a new version of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Theme for the film, as well as The Hold Steady, Nine Pound Hammer and others".

The movie is about this: "an action-adventure epic that reveals the mysterious origins of Meatwad, Frylock and Master Shake. When an immortal piece of exercise equipment threatens the balance of galactic peace, it is up to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force to run away from it. Peril escalates when Plutonians team up with the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past to strive for ultimate control of the sinister, deadly device."

Unfortunately, I notice no Mooninite references in that blurb, which is really a shame after all the hard work they did protecting Boston from the Gorgatron.

Ice Cream Is Coming To Save The Day

I'm calling this out as the jam of the summer, it's like Alan Astor had a baby with TV On The Radio. Check out his website for more songs, his first release is coming out in April through Bang Bang 12 Inches.
Muscles - Ice Cream
Bang Gang 12 inches

Kreep

Korn Unplugged is just wrong on many superficial levels.

The morbid fascination of whether Jonathan Davis would do the "Beavis Beat Box" over the acoustic version of Freak On A Leash was palpable. But nooo, we just got LARP pinup queen Amy Lee and the Zorro string ensemble.

And like a good old fashioned Lovecraft tale, what lurks beneath the surface is truly the most terrifying...



It's a pretty snappy Bossanova, though.

King of Pain

For those of you that missed it last night, either by not being up at 2 in the morning or by catching the favor of the gods, PBS broadcast the dream team of Sting playing with Lute Master Edin Karmazov. If the musical stylings of Feyd-Rautha weren't enough to keep you as amazed as I was after a bottle of wine, the limber one also read from John Dowland's personal letters. Dowland, as I'm sure you know, was the Elizabethan songwriter who pioneered all things lute.

This also marks a much more upbeat performance for Sting on PBS, his last apperance being for a tribute to James Taylor.
Tivo away.

PBS Previews GREAT PERFORMANCES "Sting: Songs From the Labyrinth"

The creepy uncles of punk are back.

Iggy, who has apparently recruited John Goodman and Jeff Goldblum to "re-unite" as The Stooges, can be found buying beer for minors and accepting spare change outside the 7-11 nearest these locations on their upcoming tour:

March 8 - Caprices Festival - Crans-Montana
March 17 – SXSW (Esquire showcase) - Austin, TX
April 7 – Orpheum- Boston, MA
April 9 - United Palace - New York, NY
Apr 11 - Electric Factory - Philadelphia, PA
April 13 - Fox Theatre - Detroit, MI
Apr 15 - Congress Theater - Chicago, IL
April 17 - Filmore Auditorium - Denver, CO
April 19 - The Warfield - San Francisco, CA
April 21 - The Warfield - San Francisco, CA
Apr 23 - Wiltern LG - Los Angeles, CA
April 27 - WaMu Theater at Qwest Field Events - Seattle, WA
May 27 – Pinkpop - Netherlands
Jun 30 - Peace and Love 2007 - Borlänge
Jul 3 - Le Palait des Sports (Paris XV) - Paris
Jul 19 - FIB Festival - Valencia
July 21 - Tromso Open Air Festival – Bukta


Their new album, The Weirdness, streets next week. A track from said album can be streamed here.

Don't even pretend that you like this.

Hey College Kids, Stop Thinking About Your Future

The Associated Press is reporting that a new study declares, "Today's college students are more narcissistic and self-centered than their predecessors."

I declare, "I could have told you that for free."

They also declare that it's a slow news day and they just wanted an excuse to go party with sexy coeds at FSU for "research."

And now back to Steve at the weather desk.

James Cameron Finds Jesus For All Of Us

Not content to merely bring us visions of the future ruled by increasingly brittle Republicans, Academy Award winning director James Cameron now brings us visions of the future ruled by increasingly brittle Republicans arguing over his new documentary.

The subject of his new film is the tomb of Christ, which Cameron claims to have found. In a press conference, Cameron told reporters that he'd always believed in an historical Jesus, then went on to say that the documentary would be adapted as a feature for next spring with Clive Owen playing the archaeologist in charge of the find and Daniel Craig as The Ghost Of Jesus Past.

God Of Thunder brings the Love Gun to Camp Pendleton

In a selfless move to bolster troop morale, Gene Simmons visited Camp Pendleton last week. Simmons graciously took time to sign KISS CD's, posters, lunch boxes, ash trays, Christmas ornaments, golf balls, and home pregnancy test kits.

Standing atop a USMC M1A1 tank, Simmons said in a firm, but passionately wavering voice, "Tears Are Falling and Heaven's On Fire, but there comes a time where you have to Lick It Up and Shout It Out Loud. Be sure to catch Family Jewels in August on A&E."


http://www.genesimmons.com/

Fuck Tha Police

"We're rich, beeyotch!"








Don't miss out on an intimate evening with The Police at Dodger Stadium.

We've all heard that Sting can fuck for up to twelve hours, but he'll probably only bend you over for two or three. And for up to $410 face value, he better hit the high notes in Roxanne.

http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0B003E48F67C6EFA?brand=&tm_link=tm_home_f1


And you better hurry. Douchebags that are going to talk on cell phones the whole time are buying up all the tickets at an alarming rate:

http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003550441

Arctic Monkeys announce "secret show."

"Shhhhhhhhhh!"










We could be wrong, but we thought perhaps the point of having a secret show was to NOT ANNOUNCE IT.

http://www.ananova.com/entertainment/story/sm_2219606.html













At least Portishead know how to properly play a surprise gig to almost nobody and even pay to get in. Now that's the kind of unobtrusive behavior that sends Anglophiles into masturbatory frenzy.

http://pitchforkmedia.com/article/news/41406

No, Thank YOU Graydon Carter

If there's one universal dream that we all share as young twenty/thirtysomethings, it's the hope that one day we'll rise out of the ranks of free nights at the Echo and drunken make out sessions with our old roommate's ex-lover who played in that one band and into the glamourous world of Hollywood. And not the crappy clubs and socialites Hollywood, we're talking the George Clooney Hollywood. That mythical place where our ample knowledge of Carl Jung, global warming and Yves St. Laurent would be duly appreciated. Where Orlando Bloom would chat with us about Midlake and Reese Witherspoon would compliment our shoes. Yes, that Hollywood.

And on Sunday night friends, that dream came true.

In a surreptitious twist of fate, VF EIC Graydon Carter decided to let three no name hipsters into the Vanity Fair party to "liven up the demographic." And we were those hipsters. The following account is not an attempt to brag about our great fortune of being at the right place at the right time. No. This is just an honest story about dreams coming true. And if you happen to find pangs of jealousy swirling in your loins because maybe Clooney had his hand on our knee for five minutes and invited us to Dan Tana's next week, well, that's your problem. We're just the messengers. The totally lucky, superior and clearly divinely blessed messengers.


Deep breath in.
OK.

First off, chances are you'll never meet God.
Number two, we're pretty sure Oprah is close enough. We're also sure her cocktail ring could pay off our college loans...and our children's...and their children's...and their children's children's children's plus a few Cambodian babies'.

B.) The decor was amazing. It's hard to describe but we'll put it this way: everything was sparkly and nothing was from Ikea.

Basically, this was no free night at Spaceland dear friends, this was the big time. We're talking gold tipped cigarettes not Parliament Lights. Although we did see some of those (Hi Kirsten).

What else...the food was dainty. We saw a few of our friends serving. That was cool. We tried not to act bougie about it because y'know, it was a little awk seeing them working while we're throwing back top shelf, but y'know what? Their time will come.

Um...and...
Graydon's hair. Amazing. Nicole and Gwyneth. Queens of the flat iron. Talked to Al Gore about energy saving light bulbs. Casually mentioned that we drive a Prius (actually a '92 Accord BUT it's the thought that counts). Got drunk. Called Helen Mirren "a quintagenarian sex pot" to her face. She responded by saying "Quintagenarian isn't a word". Then winked. Sweet! Got some digits. Not telling you whose (rhymes with Shmosling). Told Will Smith we know all the words to the Fresh Prince theme song. Did a little karaoke with Carrell. Busted out un poco de nuestro high school espanol con Gael García Bernal. Took some swag (because you know the IRS ain't coming after our broke asses). And made plans to chill at the Coppola winery next week.

Guess that's it.
Clearly we're forgetting some stuff and we'll totally post our pics once the dude from Wireimage sends them to us but the point is this:

1.) Dreams come true.
And.
2.) We're awesome.