Everybody do the Coachella

It's the annual SoCal music nerd ritual: The fine folks of Goldenvoice announce the date they're going to announce the line-up for Coachella, and we all promptly go bat-sh*t crazy. Then once the line-up is actually released, we spend the rest of the time leading up the fest bitching about it. This year looks to be no exception.

With the announcement slated for early this morning (what, you thought I was awake at this ungodly hour for no good reason? You'll get to know me better soon enough), fools started griping via Twitter that the line-up hadn't been leaked Monday evening. All kinds of crazy acts were being bandied about, like David Bowie and the Rolling Stones. Yeah, and I'm going to see Prince play in his basement. Oh wait, that actually happened...

So I dragged my sorry-ass out of bed at 7AM, and just like clockwork, the line-up was announced at 7:15AM.

Now that it's here, well, what? There are plenty of amazing artists on the bill: The return of the Specials(!!!), Fever Ray, Thom Yorke, Detroit techno legend PLASTIKMAN (who's got the blotter?), the XX, Jay-Z, PIL, Devo, GRACE JONES!!, Flying Lotus, Sly & the freaking Family Stone...you get the picture. There literally seems to be something for everyone. That I know, anyway. And I have to wonder what John Waters has planned...

In all, it's a pretty solid line-up. Although it is kind of missing that slam-dunk, FTW artist like Prince, Roger Waters, Daft Punk or Radiohead to really put the whole thing over the top (which is why my hero Bowie would have been PERFECT. Damn it!) Which means it will probably be a little less hectic this year than recent years past, and I'm OK with that. Fewer bodies in the fields means fewer drunken morons to deal with. Yay for that. Then again, when you've got people like RYAN SEACREST Twittering about the line-up (and mentioning Muse, Jay-Z and Tiesto), there's a good chance the polo fields will again be overrun by the great mouth-breathing masses. God bless America!

Maybe this can be the year where I spend more time drinking Bloody Marys by the pool and making out with hot girls I've only just met, you know? Oh, OK. I'm down to make out with girls I already know, too. Life is short, you know? I'm envisioning something along the lines of a Benetton remix of "The Jersey Shore." That would be radd. Let's do this, people. And don't forget the Strawberry Lip Smackers lip gloss. I LOVE that stuff...